


Gremlins (Maybe) and Trolls (Definitely)

by Gang_Aft_Agley



Series: Superheroes, Scooby Style [8]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Captain America (Movies), Gremlins (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Movie Night, Avengers Tower, Gen, Gratuitous Discworld Reference, Willow runs the Council IT with an Iron Fist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-26 23:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9928298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gang_Aft_Agley/pseuds/Gang_Aft_Agley
Summary: It's movie night at Avengers Tower.According to Buffy, Columbus and Spielberg stole a few things from the Council Archives.Tony would like outside confirmation.





	

"So ... it's _not_ about little creatures sabotaging the Royal Air Force?"  Nobody liked seeing the furrow of confusion on Steve's brow; it felt like disappointing America.  Tony coughed awkwardly.

"Ah, no.  No, it is not."

"It's got a little bit of everything: magic, mayhem, dark comedy, and the best of the 80s' in crappy special effects!" Clint added, with a somewhat disturbing level of enthusiasm.

"Only because using the real deal on a movie set would have led to _literal_ murder; plus, the import licenses would have cost _way_ more than the special effects did," Buffy muttered absently, checking her e-mail and automatically swatting Clint's chopsticks away as he made a grab for the last pot sticker on her plate.

"...import licenses?" Tony asked faintly.  Buffy looked up, and only then realized that everyone was staring at her.

"Well, yeah.  China's super uptight about sending _pandas_ out of the country, in what universe would they be less careful about mogwai?  Unless they actually _wanted_ to start World War III, and even then, the risks are _so_ not worth any potential benefit.  Nope, the evil fluffballs of doom are locked up and monitored more tightly than Fort Knox."  She uncrossed her legs, re-crossed them the other way, and went back to poking at her phone. 

Lucky took advantage of everyone's distraction to eat half an egg roll right out of Tony's hand.

" _More things in heaven and earth, Horatio,"_ Rhodey murmured, clapping Tony on the shoulder.  Tony shook him off irritably.

"Yeah, no, I'm not buying it.  There's no way gremlins ... fuzzy little menaces that breed when wet, can't be fed after midnight, and melt like acid in sunlight ... are real."   
  
Buffy's eyebrows shot up.

"And before you met me, you didn't think vampires or demons were real, either."

Tony raised a finger, and then dropped it.

"Point taken."

"Okay, I gotta ask," Rhodey chimed in, when it looked like Tony had been (temporarily) silenced.  "How much of the movie actually happened?"

Buffy cocked her head to the left and made a so-so gesture with her free hand.

"Eh, it's ... more or less accurate, I guess.  The basic sequence of events is all right, mostly, but all the funny bits were added by Chris Columbus, and a lot more people died.  Billy's Mom was actually a retired Potential, which is the only reason _anyone_ lived to tell the tale.  The Council had to work one hell of a mind-whammy to cover it all up; the usual 'gangs on PCP' excuse wouldn't cut it.”

"And what sort of demon are the mogwai based on?" Tony demanded, his voice getting increasingly high-pitched.

"Mogwai _are_ the demons.  Nasty little suckers, most of them.  Ugh."  Buffy shuddered dramatically.

"Summers, you have got to be shitting me.  You're pulling my leg.  Again."  Tony crossed his arms over his chest, his scowl edging dangerously close to a pout.

Buffy shrugged and looked down at her plate, where Clint had succeeded in stealing the  pot sticker; in retaliation, she pinged a shrimp off of his forehead ... which Lucky gobbled up almost before it hit the floor.

"Okay.  Somebody pass me the crab angels, please?"  Bucky obliged, snatching them away just as Steve reached for them.

"So you were kidding just then, about gremlins being real?  There's no such thing as mogwai?"

"Sure.  Thanks, Buckminster," she grinned, passing the carton to Steve and stuffing two crab angels into her mouth at the same time.

"That 'sure' means that you were, in fact, kidding, right?" Tony persisted.

There was a long pause while Buffy chewed, swallowed, and smiled.  It was not a particularly nice smile, nor was it in any way reassuring.

"Uh-huh.  Absolutely.  One hundred percent.  Hey, is there any more kung pao chicken left, or did the super-soldiers eat it all?"

* * *

Tony's first attempt at hacking into the Council servers knocked him a) out of his chair and b) unconscious for about an hour.  When he came to, the air still smelled of rosemary and lightning, and the soles of his shoes were slightly melted.

The less said about all subsequent attempts, the better.  He only gave up after he spent two weeks with _CAN'T HACK A BOOK_ stamped on his forehead in florescent purple.  
  
* * *

  
**Me:** So, weird question, but Buffy said a thing, and I was just wondering ... has SHIELD ever had any dealings with gremlins and/or mogwai?  
**Agent Reg Shoe:** Officially?  No.  
**Me:** WHAT ABOUT UNOFFICIALLY PHIL?!?!?!?!?!?!?  
**Agent Reg Shoe _:_** _...... Message Seen_  
**Me:** DAMMIT PHIL!!!!!  
  
* * *

"Mr. Stark, is there any reason to suspect that you _have_ a gremlin infestation?"

"Well, no, but..."

"Then I hardly see how it _matters_."

"It matters, Rupert, because I am going _nuts_ over here!"

"Mr. Stark, to be perfectly honest, I think that was a pre-existing condition."  
  
* * *

  
**From:[zeke2517@gmail.com](mailto:zeke2517@gmail.com)**  
**To:[tstark@avengers.gov](mailto:tstark@avengers.gov)**  
**Re: Movies That May or May Not Be Based in Fact...**  
Above your clearance level, Stark; I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of such creatures.

"GAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

 

**Author's Note:**

> [Come tumble with me!](https://oft-goes-awry.tumblr.com/)


End file.
